Signs Therapy Is Working (and Signs It's Not)

A few weeks or months into therapy, it's normal to start wondering: is this actually doing anything? You're not the only one asking that question. Here's a therapist's perspective on how to tell the difference between therapy that's working and therapy that might need to change.

First, an Important Caveat: Give It Time

Therapy is not going to feel like it's "working" after your first session, second, or sometimes even your third. Think of it like picking up a new sport. Nobody takes one lesson and expects to play like a pro.

You have to repeat the skills you're learning, have your coach guide and correct you, and repeat it again before it becomes something your body just does naturally. Therapy works the exact same way. You're learning new coping skills for your mind, and skills take repetition before they're automatic. Give it real time, several weeks at minimum, before you decide whether it's working or not.

Signs Therapy Is Working

• You catch yourself using a skill you learned in therapy in a real moment. At first, because you consciously thought to use it instead of your usual habit; over time, it starts to become your natural instinct.
• You feel more grounded day to day. Not necessarily "happy" all the time, but less derailed by things that used to throw you off balance.
• You're opening up more, maybe first to your therapist, and then more and more to the people in your life too.

None of these have to show up dramatically or overnight. Often, it's something as small as pausing before reacting, or noticing a thought instead of getting swept up in it.

Signs It Might Not Be (Yet or Not at All)

• The "work" only happens for fifty minutes a week during your session, and nowhere else.
• You still don't feel like you're opening up, even after several sessions.
• Sessions feel like venting, with no real shift in how you're actually handling things.

These signs don't necessarily mean therapy is failing. Often, they mean it's time for an honest conversation with your therapist about what isn't landing yet.

Sometimes, it just might mean you and your therapist aren't a good fit, and that's okay. Finding the right therapist can feel like dating: you might find the one on the first try, or sometimes it takes a few therapists to find someone you click with.

What to Do If You're Not Sure

Bring it up directly with your therapist. "I don't know if this is working" is a completely reasonable thing to say, and a good one will value that feedback and work with you to make it better.

Sometimes the fix is a different approach. Sometimes it's more time. Sometimes it's a different therapist. All of those are normal parts of the process, not signs of failure.

Daren Casagrande, LMFT, is the Director of Clinical Operations at Attune, where he oversees clinical training and quality across Attune's network of supervised therapists.

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